Tuesday, May 20, 2014


" Look, Mommy that's my friend, TuTaloo." J said as we were rushing out of the minivan to make gymnastics class on time. The boys love going to gymnastics!

 Each week we are there,  I spend time working out while watching them through the big glass window, feeling like a great mom because my kids are getting lots of activity and not sitting in front of the TV with a bowl of Fruit Loops. At least for the time being. As I observed all the tiny tumblers, I immediately noticed a little girl named Tallulah in J's class. She is a cutie who seems to really enjoy the class and tries everything with enthusiasm. I also noticed she was a bit heavier than the other 3 and 4 years olds. I didn't really give it much thought but figured she probably loves to eat and her mom probably doesn't monitor her snacks very well but it's great that she's getting some activity in at least. That's really as far as my thought process went, but it was judgmental and it was pride.

 Then, I hurt my back  so I started sitting with the other moms while we watch our babies jump and play. I began to really like Tallulah's mom. She's down to earth, positive and has a great sense of humor. One day we were chatting and she said something in jest about swim lessons and how her daughter was buoyant when learning to swim. We all smiled and even then, I wondered if maybe she should take her weight more seriously and cut back on the Cheetos. It was nothing more than a passing thought but  let me just stop here and say...I not do put much effort into monitoring my kids snacks. I do want them to eat healthy but they eat a lot. They are not overweight so it's okay, right?

A week or two went by and we were chatting again about homeschool and she mentioned that she might homeschool because of Tallulah's health issues. Which of course prompted me to ask, what health issues??? Tallulah has a rare liver disease called Glycogen Storage Disease Type 1b and cannot process sugar. In fact,  Tallulah can not have sugar, EVER and never has. She has to eat every few hours so that her blood sugar doesn't drop and she doesn't have a seizure. That means her mom, her pregnant mom of twins, has to get up in the night to put food in her feeding tube every. single. night. When the rest of us celebrate our newborn sleeping through the night so we can sleep through the night, she will still be up every two hours putting food in her daughter feeding tube for the next 18 years. Every birthday party, she makes sure she brings a sugar free treat for her daughter so she doesn't feel left out. She bakes bread from scratch and shops at special grocery stores. This amazing mom has to warn the Sunday school teachers and everyone who comes in contact with her daughter not to share candy or give her daughter juice or an apple. She also has to to deal with strangers who have no clue, judging her as a bad mom for allowing her daughter to be over weight because for those of us who don't know, its her fault and we have a right to think it or worse..say so.  I cried when I went home because how many people do we pass judgement on when we really have no idea what they are going through. We do not know the details of a health issue, or divorce, grief or spiritual maturity. As a mom, I know the hurt of being judged because of your child's poor behavior. I know that it is a daily battle and we are working on it, but to others, I am a mom who just lets them run wild. I thought about her all week and when I saw Tallulah's mom again I apologized. She told me of so many times people have come up to her and out right said she shouldn't allow her child to be obese but most people make little comments about how Tallulah must have a hearty appetite or offer her a "healthy recipe" .  It hurts but she also told me that she no longer gets upset or defensive and instead wants to grow and teach her precious daughter that it is okay to be special and that she is beautiful. That day, I looked at Tallulah's mom and and thought, "Wow! Super mom! God has entrusted this little girl with an amazing woman who will do what it takes to care for and protect her baby. Even from the judgment of others"

Matthew 7:3-5

King James Version (KJV)
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.